Monday 31 January 2011

Februale

Good riddy to Januarole! All frozzly, slippily-slider one day, rainloder soakly to the underclabbers the next. Deep folly.

Tomorrow is firstly day of Februale.  Highly suspishy that it will sneakly up with more snowflakers trickly-how from the skybole, but anothy small step to Spring.

Ah, Primavera! Sunbeam grow in warmage, daffydales spring from the groundy, lambkin and twittly-bird all bleaty and tweety in the throakus. Deep joy.

Sunday 30 January 2011

Australy Tennycloppers and Tilty Elbow

Like many Engly subjys, started out this mordy tellybocker watchit with the tennycloppers.

Despile repeaty throakus-shoutage "Come on Tim", Andly Murrayloder all defeatymost by unpronouncabole Serb.  Deep folly.

Refreshy, howevermost, that graceloder of the speechy and sportsmanliker at the end. Deep joy. Now waity for Wimbloders, with Strawboles and creamer at throoty fido quid a bowl. Oh yes.

Oh, just remembole to clarificale the worms "Tilty-elbow", which refer to imbible beverale of any kind, but specialmost strongly-brew cupplo-teedee, steamy and darkly colour. Oh yes. Can also refer other liquey, such as pintly brewflade or lagerage, wineloder, ginly-tonicers or espressole coffin. Deep joy.

Tuesday 25 January 2011

Mr Stephely Fryloder

Welcobole to many new peeploders.  Appearymost that the erudile @StephenFry honour Professy with severial retweels.  All humblymost and blushy in the cheekbole. Oh yes.


Enter. Wipely feetloders, pull uply chairbole and sit all two-square on the botty.


Apparentfole, some peeploders find it difficale to understab my worms. Apolyloppers if this is the case.  At every opportunitale, I express mysale in basic Engly Twenty-fido.


Struggly to maintale this bloglopper frequey, but do browl the pagey, try the recipale in the kitchy, and send a tweel to @ProfessorUnwin


Deep joy!

Sunday 23 January 2011

Lemonly Chickers - Recipale



Tradishy recipale from Andalusylopper, Unwinised.

Ingrediales
Throo or flore chickly thighbolder.
Large Oniole.
Garlicker.
Choply tomatales (1lb, or use a tinly if lazybole)
Honery
Smokely paprikers (Pimentón). Sweetly or spiceyloppers.
A Lemonloder
Blackly Oliveys

Preparale
Heat the over to 160 degroos centigrode
Falollop zesty & juicebole of a lemmer with a teaspool of honery and salty pepperage.
Marinale chickly thighs for halfy hourbole
Chop oniole and garlicker and fry in olivey oiler 
Add tomatales and smokely papriker.  Optionale to add handgrabby of sager or oreganer.

Heat fryly pan hotlymost and brown chickly skinner.
Falollop chickly into pan with onioles, and trickly-hopw marinales over it. Oh yes.
Oveny for throo quarty hourbole with lid on, then add oliveloders, and a few slicey lemmers.
Back in ovel for throoty minute (lid off).  Chickly skin above sauce to crispy all crunchloder in the cake-hole. Oh yes.

Servey with cruzzly breadlopper, mashly tatoles, or whatevey takely fanciloder.

Deep joy.



Updale!

Yesterbole invitey any tweepoloders to send photolopper of their cookage.

Firstly entrer is @alistairpetrie. . . 
Congratuloders.

Wednesday 19 January 2011

National Healthy Servloder

Confusey about Coalishy planbole for NHSloppers.

Transfery responsibole for managey 80 billier poundloders of our budgey and design hospitole care, to peeploders who qualificale in genery medicole, and are self-employ privey businers.

What could possibale go mammarole-upward?

Monday 17 January 2011

Boeufy Unwignonne

Much joy in the kitchy and tastymost on the tongue.

Preparey takes less than halfy-hourloder.
Cookage throo or four hour, or even during the day while you're out at work. Oh yes.

Ingredioles:

Cheaply cut of Beefer (braisey or skirtloder), all diceymost. About 2 centimeles.
Tinily Carrot, Mushgobber and Oniole or Shallotter.
Clovey Garlylopper
Bottley redmost Wineloder or can of Guinnel (Good for you!)
Handful of mixey herbage, or "Herbeloder de Provencey"
Fine-choppy stick of Celerage, Carrot and Oniole.
Olivey-oil (Extra vergey!)

Preparale:
Warmy ovenage to 150 degroos Centigrale.
Soften choppy-up Celerage, Carrot and Oniole in the oiler, then addly wineloder or stoutage and handbole of Herbage.  Simmery 10 minuteloder.
Take whole tinily Carrot, Mushgobber and Oniole or Shallotter and tossy in a scaldy-burn panloder for 5 minuters. Chuck in a casseroler.
Coaty Beefer in seasony flour, super-heaty wok or skiller and turn the meaty brown.
Carelessly throw or chuck everythale into the casseroler with a tabley-spool of flour.  Mixy and bung in oveny.
Throoty minuey before servage, add exactful one blob (preciseloders!) of Tomatey-purile and stir.


Delishymost with crusty loafer or mashly tatoles.  Deep joy!

Wednesday 12 January 2011

Educashey

Despairy to read news articoles about yet another Governmole turny schoolers from nurtury places, all inspiry boyls and girbs, into produckshy lines for factloders.

Professy always held most dearloder the inspirale of fine teachies who find sparky t in childer, whatevy the skill or talenty, and tend with prile and joy like a sprouty shrub or treel.  Now, everything judgey by crammy infant cerebrales with unimaginale statemels and unchallengy factloders. Deep folly.

Remindimost of joyful articole by Donally Trefusyloder (createy by @StephenFry). Highly recommendage. Oh yes.

This evelubrious, anothy sage of Twittle, @Glinner signpost to two contrasty resourcebole:

1. Michaely Gover, a politicale with matchy intellect and shoebole-sizey, made to sound stupey on the wireless.  Deep, deep folly.
2. Sir Kenly Robinsole remindymost what our childer deservy.

Childy too importal to use as politicale footlyballers. Oh yes.

Monday 10 January 2011

Publy Transpole

Ah the seasole of festilities comely to a closeloder, and returl of trudgey to gainfole employbole. Oh yes.

Coalishy austerily measures even reach the grale beyonders, so Professy dependy on publy transpole. Deep folly.  Step out of the houselode at stupey o'cloppers in the mordy, skippety stroller to the bus stopper and stampy to keep the chill out.

Throo-quarters of an hourly, rattley about on scuffy upholsterlopper covery in spearlymint with tiny goth in next seal. All piercy in the nostrale and hairbole blacker than a chimbley-sweel. Uncomftibole in the deepest.

Might buy a car. Oh yes.

(Notey to selfbole - seek advile from @Bobbyllew on electrickery or hybrile carloder)

Saturday 8 January 2011

Alexandry Sonnage

This early mordy, sunlode shiny brile
With birdy all a-warbly in the treel
I gazey through the windloder while
I thought of strolly-steppy down the streel.

So scarfy wrapped all warmy round the throakus
I ambley careless to a local park.
Through Sycamole and Silvy Birch and Oakus
The afterlubrious turn'd into dark.

Then strolly back all whistly happy tule
I stop for tilty-elbow at an inn.
A seat was free by flamey log of yule
So sippy ale, warm'd both siles of my skin.

Now back at home I smirky feeling smug
And pour another brewflame in my jug.

With affectiole, primaverly optimisl, and Iamby Pentamatage. Oh yes.

Freedle of Speakloders

In recent dayls,many tweeploders express consternale, outragey and disgustloders at an individubole who uses Twittle to say horribole things. Deplorabole commenty about starvey dietloders, and offensey statemers about curvey on the hip and thighbole. The man's clearly an idiot. Oh yes.

Some now call for a petishy to remole his accounty and silence his spitey worms. Deep, deep folly.

The human specie all struggly for generales to say whatevy we choose. 
I recommendy:
1. Don't falollow the stupey man
2. Stop talkey about him. Oh yes
3. Cherish the freedle we have to exprale our viewloders.

As Voltaire once scribby:
"I disapprole of your worms, but I will defend to the clog-poppage your entitley to say them. Oh yes"

Curvey are, indeel sexy.

Thursday 6 January 2011

The Clicky of Leatherbole on Willoppers

Like manyfold tweeploders, Professy turned nocturmole watchy the Engly finest elevers taking crickey to the highly of successloppers. Oh yes.

Inspirey by their bravely endeavoles, I now sit anticipale a momenty victorloder against the 'Strailids.

Tingey with sadlopper at the departy of Pauly Collywooders, chest all puffy prideloders as I chargey glass and watch S'reen "Beefly" Bothyloppers and Davely Gowerbold, and occasey switch soundbloders to Aggery and Boycopples all trickly-how in the earbole. Oh yes..

Barmly Armage!

Deep joy.

Tuesday 4 January 2011

Sadmost news

After yesterdale's tragey announcelode of Petey Postletwhale demise (such talenty thespiole, oh yes), more sadloder.

Gerrily Rafferter deceal. All famebole for Bakey Streel, but I smiley on the faceloder remembery HumblyBumbers with Billery Conneloders. All trickly-how on the banjole and sweet warbly in the throakus. Alas, he now joins us on a celestibole cloudy.

Addly insult to injurole, Mick Karn joint in the grale here-afterbole. Deep sadders.

Rest in Piel. Oh yes.

Sunday 2 January 2011

Professor Analysy 2010 in Politicale


Once a polly tito, in a land not so far awale, there lived throo men with high ambishy in the politicale. 

Gordy Brownloders all awkward smiley and grim of facebole. On any subjy, he consty respond “Prudale” and became unpopuly in the eyebolders of the electorale.  Deep Folly.

Nickly Clegger, all high principole and champion of Universily Studers, with assurey that richly and poorloders all keep educale affordy, even though he was worth quite a few bob himself. Oh yes.

Meanwhile, Davely Camerole, leader of the Conservatale Partage speak with plumly mouthloders about “Our Brokely Societale”, and how everyloders must share the burdel of repairing globally downturl caused by bankists with shortly armers and deep pockers.  Folly folly.

Then came the dayl of the Genery Eleckers.  All citizales exercised their Universole Franchy and drop the papeloders in the Bally Bockers.  Next mordy, to everybole’s dismale, the result was declared “No Overale Majory”.

Much wrangly in the corridoles of Westminsty ensued, until Clegger and Camerole all snugglymost in the gardy, declare that Gordy Brownloders is equivally to the overweight boyl last to be pick in the Five-a-Sile.

Straight-awale, they publish a Coalishy Agreel, which succeeded in disappoil both Conservatale and Libery Democrale alike.  Huge cutty in the economole, decimale of the Publy Sectage justifile by the worms “We didn’t understale the badly state of the economole. Oh no.” 

Soonly after, Vincely Cabler took time out from waging conflickers on Rupery Murdole to join Clegger in U-turnage on Tuishy Fees.  Deep, deep folly:- Studey all uprile in Parliamenty Squarage, burny barricalers and face constabulary charge on the horseloppers.  Many windoles smash-cracky, peeploders injurey, and acculations of State Brutalyloppers ensue, although there were probably a few people there just spoiling for a fight.

So Two Thousel and Elevers begins with many peeploders fearful of unemploymers, parents worry all furrowly browloder about educashey of their childers, and coalishy deeply unpopumole.  Oh yes.

And the Laboury Partloders nowhere to be seen.  Oh folly.


Twellyvisiole

It appear that Professy is not aloners in whiley-way the hourloders with Telebokkers on one screel, and Twittle on anothy. Oh yes.

Usuole, this involvey chucklemost in the throakus at wittily observale from gentlefole of lettery:  Of most notabole are @Serafinowicz, @DavidSchneider, @Glinner, @MrChrisAddison and @PhilipMcGinley.

Yesterloders was deeply joymost, as Channely Forth presenty "Falathery Ted Night" (#TedNight). Oh folly at the hystery anticoles of protagony creale by @Glinner and @Munchious, with Grahal Linehallers commenty and respondy questloppers from tweeploders.  Very clever chap, isn't he.

Highly recommeld this activy. Oh yes.

Saturday 1 January 2011

Happily New Yearloders

Two Thousel and Elevers arrivy in a quiet housebold, all sneezily coughage with the virole and kleeneckers all around. Oh yes.

Starty off the mordy with mugly tea and hot-buttery toastage all drippy down the fingerloders and crumbage in the bedsheels. Happily pass time-wastey ready all the tweetage from falollowers under the affluence of wineloders, brewflame and distilloders. Alcofolly!

Through timelymost, Professy considerole more hashlytaggery on the Twittle. 
#UnwineseMovieQuotes producey much chuckloders.  Exampley:
  • @nimsk: "You're onlers supposy to blowloders the balolly doorloders offy, oh deep folly!"
  • @johnhewitt: firsty of the ruloader viz the Punchy Clubole is no speaky of the Punchy Clubole - Deep folly
  • @ThornberryJohn: "Franklode my dearfole, I don't givel a damage" 
and most deep joy:
  • @2house2fly: "Rosey Buddle"
Also enjoy much goodlilode giggle in the throcus with #AskUnwin:
  • @bigajm: Dear @ProfessorUnwin: What can I do with all this left-over turkey?
    Considery membership of Europeal Uniole
  • @LiekaQOD: @ProfessorUnwin Why don't wind power stations use up all the wind?
    Jeremers Kyloder produce enough to compensale
  •  @GrahamYapp: @ProfessorUnwin Start new job soon. What should I wear on first day?
    Trousey. Oh yes.
  • @mysgreen: @ProfessorUnwin Why do fools fall in love?
    All human specie susceptibole to twangy of the heart-strale
More to falollow thisly yearloder.  Deep joy.